October is popular for several things, the most popular one being Halloween. But did you know that October was National Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month? The United States started recognizing this day in October of 1988. We often focus on the joyful side of pregnancy but miss out on the opportunity to spread awareness about the not so joyful side that pregnancy can bring on. So what is pregnancy loss?
A miscarriage is the loss of a pregnancy before you reach 20 weeks or five months. They say about 10 to 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage but the percentage could be higher because many women have a miscarriage and don't even know it! As a woman that has experienced two back to back, the physical effects are often short lived, but the mental and emotional effects can last a lifetime. Why do miscarriages happen? It is said that miscarriages happen because the unborn baby isn't developing properly or missing chromosomes. Your health can also play a role as well. Having underlying health conditions such as diabetes, uterine or cervical issues, thyroid problems and even obesity can increase your risk of pregnancy loss.
How can you tell if you're having a miscarriage? There are several different signs. Abdominal pain and cramping, bleeding, and passing of tissue (pregnancy and clots). Sometimes you can miscarry and not pass the pregnancy. If this happens, you can either get medication to help you pass it or have a surgery called a D&C. I didn't pass either one of my pregnancies. I had an ultrasound and was informed that there was no heartbeat. The first one was at 6 weeks. I was given a medication to open my cervix so the pregnancy could pass. My second loss was at 14 weeks. I had to be put to sleep for surgery.
The hard thing to process is that there is usually nothing you can do to prevent a miscarriage, but you can help by trying to focus on your health. Keep doctors appointments and make sure you're avoiding things that could harm your health like alcohol and drug use. If you've had multiple pregnancy losses, talk to your provider to come up with a plan. Sometimes testing can be done to possibly figure out the cause.
A stillbirth is also pregnancy loss that happens after 20 weeks or five months. A baby is born without signs of life. Stillbirths happen in 1 in 60 pregnancies. Like a miscarriage, a stillbirth can happen due to chromosomal issues, underlying health conditions such as high blood pressure, uterine issues, and diabetes. Sometimes the placenta and/or umbilical cord can play a role in the demise of a pregnancy.
There are three different types of stillbirth:
Early Stillbirth happens between 20 and 27 weeks
Late Stillbirth happens between 28 and 36 weeks
Term stillbirth happens between 37 weeks and after
Many people wonder if there are certain things that put you at risk for experiencing a stillbirth.
Stillbirth rates are higher for teen girls and women over 35
Certain health conditions like the ones discussed earlier; Diabetes, Lupus, Hypertension, Blood clotting disorders, etc.
Being pregnant with multiples (twins, triplets, etc)
Previous pregnancy complications (eclampsia, etc)
Using drugs and alcohol can increase your risk
Stress, environmental situations, and lack of resources can also increase your risk.
And sometimes the cause can be very hard to determine but testing can be done to try to determine why. Once a fetal demise is detected a decision must be made. Pregnancy can be induced, a c-section can be done or you can wait for labor to occur naturally. Once you've delivered your baby you have the option to hold your baby, get a birth certificate, and so on. Speak with the personnel to learn what you can do during this time. A lot of women want to know if they will lactate or produce milk, and yes you will. You can be given a medication to help stop this unless there's a medical reason why you can't like preeclampsia.
While many people don't consider an abortion (or medically expelling a fetus from the uterus) as pregnancy loss because it's a "choice", I consider it to be a loss of pregnancy. Abortion is such a hot topic and many people don't want to touch it. Making the decision to have an abortion is not an easy one. Many women have to make this choice for a lot of different reasons such as rape or finding out that their unborn child will have disabilities, or their baby will be sick, or even the life of the mother will be put at risk if she was to give birth. Every woman who's chosen an abortion have their reasons and it's still a loss.
Healing will need to be done both physically and mentally/emotionally.
Know that you'll feel a range of emotions.
Anger
Sadness
Loneliness
Jealousy
to name a few. Please know that these feelings are normal. Allow yourself to feel. Don't run from them. No matter how hard it is to face what you are feeling, take the time to work through what you're going through. I just kept going. Not being present in what was going on. I didn't want to deal with it. It was too painful, too real. But it caught back up with me later and I had to deal with my feelings.
Allow people to help you. If you have friends, family members, or support groups to be there for you. Allow them to. We have a habit of wanting to be alone when we are grieving. Being alone isn't bad but don't spend too much time alone. Also, seek counseling or therapy. Whether you reach out to someone at your church or find a licensed therapist, seek therapy. This can be very beneficial. Take some time to journal your feelings and thoughts. This is very helpful and healing.
Have you or someone you know experienced a loss of pregnancy? How did you cope? Or do you feel like you have? Please know you're not alone!
Until next time, sending you peace, love, and light!
Tiffany Underwood
Certified Birth and Postpartum Doula
Childbirth Educator
#stillbirth #miscarriage #abortion #doula #grief #healing #obgyn #pregnancyloss #pregnancylossawareness #grief
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